Two weekends ago, my little boy hit the one-year mark. I released a sigh of relief, wiped the sweat from my forehead, the sweat that accumulated each time I woke up at night to check if he was breathing, each time I placed my hand on my back in the inky blackness of our bedroom to see if I could feel his life pulse through him, each time I left him in the room to sleep and I constantly jumped up every 5 seconds whenever I thought I heard him stir…

This weekend, I turned a year older. I released a sigh of happiness, sipped on my favorite cocktail all day long while surrounding myself with the friends who decided to do a BBQ for me, for my friends with birthdays near or around my own – we roasted goat meat, marinated in a mix of lemon, rosemary, water and berbere. 

Birthdays have always meant so much to me. Forget any other holiday or commercialized celebration, but NEVER forget my birthday. I do not hanker for gifts. I hanker for time, for conversation, for meaningful hugs. I got all these and more today. I got a perfectly timed email from my love, Austin’s Dad. I got a sweet hug from Continue reading

Mother’s Day!

It’s my first ever Mother’s Day.

I have a son.

He stares at me and smiles so broadly. every. time. And

it takes my breath away. every. time.

I have a son.

He is learning how to walk, slowly.

His aunties hold him gingerly by the hands, lead him ahead of themselves and

he plods along, throwing one foot in front of the other…teh-teh we call it. Continue reading

Dear Toni

My dearest Toni,

You have been there for me

when nobody else was…

at a time when so much was happening

to me, around me, against me…

you stayed smiling with me.

Friends like you are so rare,

sweet, kind, loving and non-judgmental.

Austin is so lucky to have you in his life,

as am I.

I sat down on this Valentine’s Eve and

decided that I ought to tell you, my sister,

how much I love, respect and admire you.

You have a strength and beauty that most

would die for, but you hold these traits with

such breathtaking humility.

Even when you feel that you are weak,

you are far stronger than you think.

That strength has uplifted me plenty of times before.

Sitting with you at sushi, at an ice hockey game

or just during our binge-watching marathons.


You have saved lives at work, while flipping that fabulous hair…

you have walked outside the lines of the box that life was trying to force you to

stay in…and you have thrived.

We have shed tears together (whether it was at a movie or a showing of Wicked is completely irrelevant…tears were shed)

We have LIVED life together.

You took care of me. You took care of my Austin.

For that I shall forever be grateful. You are a valentine. Our valentine.

By force, if need be🙂

Happy Valentine’s,  my sister!



M & A


I knew you hadn’t.

Forgotten me, that is.



I feel I am always in

and within your sights.

Your grace waiting close by

to catch me when I stumble.

I knew you hadn’t.

Because you never have.

Your hand wraps around my heart,

injecting me with warmth

amidst a cold pushed in by life

and those jokes it likes to play. Continue reading


You try your best not to contribute to the corruption within the system, telling yourself that change starts with you. Then your life comes to a standstill because you have refused to part with $40 in order to gain a bigger return. The bureaucracy in Kenya is mind blowing. Police stop you for speeding, ask for $20 – $40, and you weigh your options – pay that small amount now OR go to court and get charged $400. You meekly hand over your $20. I have been waiting for my Identification Card to get processed for well over a month. My life is on hold – I cannot get paid, I cannot register for my tax deductions, pension etc because my ID has not been released. I had to jump through hoops upon application, because they had to ‘verify’ that I was Kenyan. I have been Kenyan since before I was born. But I had to stand there and explain why I was Kenyan. Why I have never had an ID but I have travelled extensively under my Kenyan passport. They nodded. Checked my BCG scar. Seemed satisfied. Stamped my papers. I got fingerprinted and photographed. Then my registration stayed on someone’s desk for 3 weeks. Continue reading


Austin has been busy growing up.

He currently is boasting 2.5 teeth. Right at the 5 month mark, his bottom teeth started to show – the left one popped first. Yeah, breastfeeding became an extreme sport… Continue reading