I hope she doesn’t mind me posting this, but one of my sweetest friends wrote something on her blog that, thanks to my very unreliable, moody internet connection here in Ethiopia, I just discovered today. In the last few weeks, I have gone through some strange ups and downs – patient deaths, preventable illnesses, sick babies, sicker parents, weird interpersonal exchanges with my higher-ups, challenging work duties, paranoia on a high level from my higher-up, gin of questionable quality, lack of appropriate mixers for said gin…even a request, from my higher-ups at work to me, to stop a friendship…yeah, wrap your head around that. Well, my friend captured something raw and so real that I feel that I MUST share an excerpt;
The grass really is always greener. Don’t let yourself immortalize past experiences on a pedestal of the bright and shiny. Don’t let yourself discount your present experiences because of dreams of the past or of the way things could be. This is not to say don’t dream, don’t change, don’t become. Quite the opposite. Be where you are. Appreciate each day for what it is, and when that day has gone, appreciate it for what it was –nothing more, nothing less. Dream big, aim higher than the stars, but don’t let it put a damper of where you are now. Just realize the beauty of the position you’re in to control your own reality, your own experience. Take stock in what matters. What really matters. Don’t mourn things you gave up to grow to where you are now. Remember the things you gave up and be grateful that you had them, be grateful for where they have gotten you, but BE where you ARE. Always. Always moving and going forward.
And be easy on yourself. We all have ugly spots on our souls, it’s part of this human experience, finding them, accepting them, and cleaning them away. You can hate certain parts of yourself as long as you hate them while staring them in the face. Don’t turn away and pretend they don’t exist. Don’t close yourself off from them determined to feign ignorance. Acknowledge that they exist, feel whatever feelings associate with them and then work like hell to un-blemish the spots. The best lessons often begin with the deepest pain.
Eish. A-freaking-men, Toni.