Watching my little boy grow over the last two months has been and is such a delight. Every day that passes, I notice that he changes…he coos a bit more, has started laughing a lot more and he looks at everything with his eyes wide and in amazement. One thing I can learn from this little man – he lives with his whole body. Out loud. He smiles with his whole face and when I place him onto the changing pad, he throws his legs up, down and sideways plus he curls his hands up into fists and then laughs and coos and giggles. He also seems to be attempting to talk – he looks at me intently, opens up his mouth really wide and seems to be trying so hard to tell me something. He gives real meaning to living it up, and all this just for a 2 month old! He loves looking up at our ceiling fan in the living room and laughing with whatever angels are relaxing up there. When he’s sleeping, he throws his little arms all over the place. Since we co-sleep, sometimes this means I am at the receiving end of some tiny punches and, because his nails seem to grow like weeds, I get scratched up really well. I am in the process of getting his passport and, even with all that stress, he always makes me smile. I am excited for that process to end so he can meet his Papa and his grandparents in Africa.
Sometimes, especially before bed at night, he fusses and cries, tensing his entire body, twisting his face in frustration, fighting the impending sleep. Then he laughs, mouth wide open, then it dissolves into a cry. Sometimes he just sits quietly when I place him in his swing, looking around the room as I buzz around him, cleaning house or running in from the kitchen to count his breaths…and he just sits there, chilling. I count his breaths a lot, fears of him suddenly not breathing clouding my common sense and teasing up my mother’s instincts. I am sure he looks at me, wondering just who is this person running into my field of view every so often to peer at my heaving belly. Before I became a mom, I had never heard of or paid attention to ‘positional asphyxia’ and now, I think about it ALL the time.